Oy Bay!

"My heart is in the east, and I in the uttermost west." — Yehudah Ha-Levi

Boy I wish these hot politicians were Jewish

Posted by jlifer on September 21, 2006

Jewish Gavin NewsomI first saw Gavin Newsom at the Israel rally in San Francisco. He was tall, impressive, and accompanied by two bodyguards. The face didn’t connect immediately with the photographs I’ve seen in the papers. I walked by him, trying to at least brush my arm against his sleeve. I envisioned him to be a big shot Jewish businessman, or a hot lobbyist for AIPAC. My friend quickly informed of his real identity and goy status.

“Damn,” I thought. “Why can’t hot politicians be Jewish?” Like instead of Newsom, his last name would be Neusbaum. And he’d wear a kippah and I’d run into him at shul. (I would go to shul if hot Jewish politicians were there.)

Instead we have Lieberman.

11 Responses to “Boy I wish these hot politicians were Jewish”

  1. Ilana said

    Hot Politicians:
    Yes, Newsom (Neusbaum) is hot for sure! Let’s not forget those who really are Jewish (Thank Hashem for this hottie!): Charlie K. from AIPAC! What A Jewish Babe!

  2. Oyster said

    Oy-va-voy! Charlie getting some love on Oy Bay! Things are steaming up!!! :-p Here are some pictures of Charlie and Ilana. 😀

    P.S.- His Hebraized name is: Gershom Neusbaum

    P.P.S.- The J-Lifer is a Jew’rnalist. Get it? Get it?

  3. Oyster said

    BTW, J-Lifer, I like how you have Gershom Neusbaum rockin’ the Tekhelet. 🙂

  4. Naama said

    why what’s wrong with goyim?

  5. Oyster said

    Na’ama: Eating them is treif! You’d have to either dip your mouth in a mikva, or bury it underground for a few days! 😉

  6. Oyster said

    Did anyone else notice that Gershom Neusbaum is sportin’ a Timex sportswatch? Now, for sure, he’s not Jewish! Where’s the bling at?

  7. Adamama said

    mmm. maybe he wants to convert. I’d show up in shul if he was there…

  8. Oyster said

    I’m starting to notice a trend here. First J-Lifer, now Adamama:

    “Germans love David Hasselhoff”

    Wait, no. That’s not it.

    Listen up, oh Elders of Zion! If you want the kinderlach to attend shul, go forth and convert you some hot politicians!

    Oh yeah, for all the maidelehs out there: stop lusting after the sheygetzes! Repent, repent! Stick with the Hebrew nationals. 🙂 On this note, hat tip to Ilana.

  9. Oyster said

    Looks like Reb Neusbaum got caught doing some extra-biblical hanky-panky:


    Not too late for Jewish interns! Sign up, ladies!

  10. Oyster said

    lol, Mayor “GotSome”!


  11. […] Unfortunately, the NFL doesn’t require players disclose that sort of information, but I’m determined to find out. In the meantime, I got an autograph from 49ers QB hunk Alex Smith, who I will add to my list of “Boy, I wish these hot politicians athletes were Jewish.” […]

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