Oy Bay!

"My heart is in the east, and I in the uttermost west." — Yehudah Ha-Levi

Jewish pickup lines

Posted by kneidalach on November 30, 2007

don’t worry i won’t passover you

are you the milk or the honey i was promised?

you bring the apples i’ll bring the honey

God just told me there was going to be a flood and i’ve decided to save you

want to go fiddle on a roof?

can i put out your burning bush?

lets do it adam and eve style, behinde some bushes

once you go jew no christian will do

you must not be kosher for passover because you’re makeing my matza rise

do you want to spin my dreidel?

That’s a nice-looking yarmulke you’re wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.

I’ll take you to the promise land.

Let me see your shirt tag, that’s right, made in Eden.

women are not called up to the torah but may I call you up at home?

can i dip my maror in your charoset?

hey whale, do you wanna swallow my jonah?

You had me at Shalom

Do you wanna see my haftorah portion?

I got a trust fund for my bar mitzvah, what’d you get?

Why don’t you slide your matzoh balls o’er here next to my gefilte fish.

You know how it is with Jewish culture, everything begins at sundown!

You must be Eve, let me see if you have a belly button.

Here have a coupon, good for one free date.

Are you a pomegranate? Cause you just left a stain on my heart.

Let’s climb the date palm and go straight to the date.

I think I’ve lost my page number. Can I have yours?

Won’t you bimah, bimah baby tonight.

I may bless God that “He did not make me a woman”, but I’m sure glad He made you one!

Good luck!


5 Responses to “Jewish pickup lines”

  1. Josh said

    Hey baby, I’d follow you to a random bar mitzvah just do I could hold your hand during the Horah

  2. artie said

    Here are some basic pick up lines in Japanese, but they work well for foreigners

  3. Kristina K said

    Are you Jewish? Because you Is-reali hot.

  4. Reena said

    are you a challah? because i wanna uncover you

  5. Rob said

    Jews are different on the inside, have you heard that its doesn’t matter about the outside it matters whats on the inside. Other races and cultures are different on the outside but similar on the inside. Jews are similar on the outside but different on the inside, and that is what I care about not this petty crap.

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