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Jewish Girl’s Night Out / Guy’s Night Out: Edgy & Sarcastic, or Sexist?

Posted by Oyster on February 21, 2008

Girls Guys night out inna
The offending event description.

Now, I knew that some of my friends were planning a Girl’s Night Out & a Guy’s Night Out for a while now. At the time, I just quipped that before the CBDYAG Jews Next Dor group became popular, it was always ‘guys night out’ (plus ChallahBackGirl). I mean, c’mon, we are practically in Man Jose. So it definitely is a ridiculously great step up that we have enough active Jewesses in our midst to be able to constitute friendly female festivities. I don’t care what they do, as long as they’re doing it.

But enter in Inna, a feisty local Jewish grad student, with her blistering wit & sarcasm to bring a critical eye on anything amiss before her. In this case, because the event is co-sponsored by the Stanford Hillel Graduate / Young Professionals group, she received the email blast from Maor (where the graphic above is taken from). What follows is taken from a note that she wrote on her Facebook blog, entitled “What Decade are we in, again??”. Brace yourself! More after the jump.

I feel the sudden insatiable urge to give up my career and sit at home popping out kids, cooking, and cleaning.
But oh noes! I can’t get a man unless I am prettier!
This offends me in ways that I can’t even articulate. Are we back in the 50s? Are modern women really this vacuous?Not only is it retrograde and demoralizing to sit around discussing *makeup* when you are in your 20s, but when guys get to drink beer, thats just disgusting.

I work in a male dominated field with a bunch of middle aged chauvinists, and I have never, ever been this offended by an e-mail, to the point where I can’t find the words to express my anger. Congratulations on showing me sexism for the first time in my 23 years.

disclaimer: I wear makeup and pretty clothes every fucking day, extra on weekends, hence, my inability to articulate the depths of my offendedness.

After a few deep breaths and four dayquil, I am able to begin articulating my offendedness.

1. The guys get to taste beers. I like beer more than I like sex with a non-vibrator entity. And I am blessed to live in the Bay ‘I’m a pretentious schmuck and I only drink wine’ area. Being near wine country, I have been invited to numerous events where I get to swish Syrah around in my mouth and pretend that it tastes good, while being surrounded by 50 douchenozzles who shoved their buttplug in so deep that they can taste the tanins.* There are very few opportunities to try beers around here, and it would be super duper skippy nice if Hillel opted to exclude women from an event in which they biologically couldn’t participate, such as a circle jerk.

*Jason, I am not talking about you. I had a blast at wine chugging–I mean tasting–this weekend

2. The girls get to learn how to look pretty so that they can snag a man. As if a woman in her 20s didn’t already realize that boys like nice shiny pretty objects. Thanks but no thanks: I already use my prettiness as a crutch. I never had to learn interpersonal skills because, golly gee, I look cute and all the guys will talk to me anyway. And maybe if I look pretty in lab, my shortcomings as a physicist can be fortiven too. Although I would never voluntarily give up looking like this, I kinda wish I was born ugly: I would sure feel better about myself if I had a better personality, and nothing is more touching than when two ugly people find each other and fall in love forever and ever since they have no other options. But back to my burden of hotness. It really sucks that I encourage people to focus on the superficial, since I happen to be intelligent and funny and nice (by some accounts). Unfortunately, it’s so much easier to put on a cute dress and heels and dust on some makeup, than to actually put something substantive out there. It’s really stupid to encourage women to be like this, and I can assure you that it is not an enormous asset for finding a BF. An event where women can improve their personality, for instance, by learning how to perform fellatio on produce, would offend me much less.

4. It is now the social norm in most demographic groups to encourage little girls to pursue an education and a career, rather than just try to get a husband. Remember that? I hate to bring up this whole feminism thing, that is technically dead, but if women continue to do asinine things like this, Gloria Steinem will continue to write angry op-eds to the NY Times, and I hate to agree with something an anti-porn crusador says.

3. Makeup is some big, difficult quandry that women have trouble figuring out. Really, this shit isn’t hard, unless you are beyond help. No woman can really be so dumb that she has not figured it out by her mid 20s. True, she might religiously match her eyeliner to her clothes, or habitually line her eyes in black as if it was a flattering look. But no amount of ‘oooh girl you look like a drag queen’ followed by annoying high pitched giggles will make such deeply ingrained bad habits go away. We can learn all the makeup tricks we need to know from cosmo, without violently betraying every tenet of feminism with some disgustingly sexist pair of events.

And thus so ends fair Inna’s monologue. Amused, I reached Inna for comment. She clarifies:

And its not the dual events that I oppose to, it is the nature of the dual events (makeup and beer), and the wording of the event (e.g. then we will go test our new looks with the guys!). If there was a girls night and guys night where neutral activities (movies, coffee, adult beverages, games) were done, I would not be opposed. If there was a dual night where girls learned something less vacuous and obvious than makeup (pole dancing, fellating produce), I would also not be opposed.

I know for a fact that both the male and female organizers of these events are hardly old-fashioned or sexist. There was more of a sense of irony to the planning of these two events. It can be viewed as a stick-in-the-eye to the meat-market feel of many Jewish events, that so many young Jews have complained about. Hell, the Bay Area Tribe was just about founded on the rejection of those kind of events! So, there was a dude who liked beer, and a chick who was a make-up artist, and they struck upon their edgy scheme.

So there you have it, folks. So what do you think? Edgy & ironic, or sexist?


5 Responses to “Jewish Girl’s Night Out / Guy’s Night Out: Edgy & Sarcastic, or Sexist?”

  1. Inna said

    Let me be the first to comment, in anticipation of some criticism that may be coming. If these dual events were meant to be sarcastic, I get it and I applaud that. However, I was on the defense as soon as I got that e-mail, because there seems to be a resurgance of ‘traditional values’ among highly educated women…you know, that whole ‘opt out’ revolution. But thats another (angrier) post. I just want to make it clear that I do understand irony and humor.

  2. whitefrodude said

    I for one would be very offended if guys couldn’t at least come watch a girls event in which they learned pole dancing or fellating produce.

  3. AngelofBabylon said

    Maybe Inna will show up so she can learn some of these vital skills and get herself a man!

  4. Friar Yid said

    Maybe next time they should have the girls taste beer while the guys have to go do something stereotypically male- like hunting elk, or building a bomb shelter.

  5. Meidalle said

    Great, you work all day in an office with men. I’m glad it makes you happy. And with all that feminism, aren’t you a bit glad to have a traditional-gender oriented activity?

    I’m FINE with the fact that it’s a SEXIST activity.
    I’m glad that I can go ahead and giggle around with girls, and maybe then go flirt with boys (Personally, however, I might have better plans then the latter).

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