Oy Bay!

"My heart is in the east, and I in the uttermost west." — Yehudah Ha-Levi

Why Kosher Food Is So Expensive: Acidic Acid!

Posted by Oyster on September 15, 2010

I am so not making this up. No photoshop here!

In case you were wondering why kosher food is *so* expensive, look no further than the ingredients! With such exotic, unheard of materials such as acidic acid, how could you reasonably expect such rare fare to go for a lower rate? Bear in mind that we’re not talking about basic acid, nor neutral acid, but ACIDIC ACID! That’s like the whole reason that Hebrew has double words, like noon-noon, mish-mish, and kum-kum, it’s bad-ass! It’s more acid than acid! It makes you more human than human! More hummus than hummus?!

I don’t know if I’m embarrassed more as a Jew or as someone who has taken college chemistry. I don’t know whether I’m more mad at the FDA for not calling b.s. on crap like this, or more disgusted with myself for still trying to finish this ketchup from Passover. 🙂

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3 Responses to “Why Kosher Food Is So Expensive: Acidic Acid!”

  1. That’s pretty funny. Presumably they meant acetic acid. (I don’t know french, but acide acetique sure looks like it could be acetic acid.)

    The FDA does regulate product labeling, but it’s not as if every product label is submitted for their approval.

  2. Oyster said

    Sounds like you are in denial. We Anglos are getting the primo acidic acid while those Franks are getting the run-of-the-mill acetic acid stuff. That’s why the Anglo-centric bottles of Gefen K4P ketchup cost $20 more than the Franco-centric ones.

  3. Aha! So there’s some kind of pro-Gallic conspiracy. I should have known.

    Apparently the bottle is able to change the ingredients based on the native language of the user. This raises several questions:

    How does it know? Does it wait for the user to speak? What if the user is an anglo who happens to speak French? Does it have some way of judging based on the accent?

    And is the change one-time only? Or can it keep switching back if, say, an Ontarian and Quebecer are eating together, and pass the bottle back and forth?

    I wonder if I can get a government grant to study this? (Presumably not from the Canadian government, but maybe Obama has some spare change?)

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